Hidey ho, neighbors! Today I’m giving you my breakdown of the new fall TV schedule. I’ve done this for many years for my imaginary internet friends (hi, nice ladies!) and now I’m sharing it with you, my probably-not-imaginary internet friends.
Notes: All times listed are Eastern, ‘cause that’s where I am. I’m mainly sticking with network TV (ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and CW), with a few exceptions. New shows are in red; I’m listing the premiere dates in parentheses.
8:00 Once Upon a Time (9/29)
9:00 Revenge (9/29)
10:00 Betrayal (9/29) A photographer has an affair with an attorney who, turns out, is defending a murder suspect and guess who’s the prosecutor? Yep. Photographer’s husband.
8:00 Amazing Race (9/29)
9:00 The Good Wife (9/29)
10:00 The Mentalist (9/29)
Word to the wise CBS viewer on Eastern or Central time: set your DVR to go at least an hour extra due to potential lateness caused by NFL Football. Personally, during football season, I just watch Good Wife on demand.
8:00 Sunday Night Football
8:00 The Simpsons (9/29), now in its 25th season
8:30 Bob’s Burgers (9/29)
9:00 Family Guy (9/29)
9:30 American Dad (9/29)
Also of note for you zombie lovers: The Walking Dead returns on AMC at 9:00 on 10/13. AND Homeland is back on 9/29 at 9:00 on Showtime.
8 – 10 Dancing With The Stars (premiered 9/16)
10:00 Castle (9/23)
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (9/23), and hot damn, we’ll FINALLY meet the mother. Someday. I can’t believe I’ve stuck with this show for eight seasons so I’ll be damned if I’m giving up on it in its final season. Plus I can’t get enough of Neil Patrick Harris.
8:30 We Are Men (9/30) Even though this sounds like a lame comedy about four divorced/dumped dudes, I’m willing to give it a watch if only because one of said dudes is Tony Shalhoub.
9:00 2 Broke Girls (9/23)
9:30 Mom (9/23) This has potential for me, but again it’s because of the cast. It stars Anna Faris and (hello, CJ!) Allison Janney.
10:00 Hostages (9/23) People, I can’t wait for this show. It looks super intense in a 24 kind of way AND it stars Dylan McDermott who often makes an appearance on my “list of 5,” plus Toni Collette, who I think is fabulous. She plays the President’s surgeon and he plays a bad (maybe?) dude who holds her family hostage and threatens to kill them unless POTUS dies in surgery. This show is supposedly following the one season/one storyline format so they’ll do 15 episodes of this plot and wrap it up and then do a new story (assuming CBS doesn’t drop it).
8 – 10 The Voice (9/23), in which Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green return as coaches. I don’t know… I really liked Shakira and Usher, but I’ll at least watch the blind auditions because I enjoy those.
10:00 The Blacklist (9/23), starring James Spader as one of America’s most wanted criminals who turns himself in and offers to give up a bunch of other nasty criminals but he’ll only talk to a female rookie FBI agent (played by Megan Boone). There are high hopes for this one, and I’ll be checking it out.
8:00 Bones (9/16) and later in the fall will be a new show called Almost Human (11/4) which takes place in 2048 and right there you’ve lost me.
9:00 Sleepy Hollow (9/16) I watched the pilot and although I’m skeptical of the whole apocalyptic theme, I really like the leads, both of whom are fairly unknown to me.
8:00 Hart of Dixie (10/7)
9:00 Beauty and the Beast (10/7)
8:00 Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (9/24) Aside from the unwieldy title, this is supposed to be one of the best new shows of the season. It’s a spinoff of The Avengers with non-superhero peeps fighting crime.
9:00 The Goldbergs (9/24), a family comedy which takes place in the ‘80s. I was in high school and college in the ‘80s. I loved the ‘80s, but I don’t need to relive them in a sitcom.
9:30 Trophy Wife (9/24), stars Bradley Whitford as a guy who is on his third wife (who happens to be much younger, in case you couldn’t tell by the title) and is also in contact with both of his exes, one of whom is played by Marcia Gay Harden. The premise of this show wouldn’t get me to watch, but again, the cast is intriguing.
10:00 Lucky 7 (9/24) about gas station employees who win the lottery. About seven years ago, there was another lottery-themed show called Windfall. It only lasted one season, and it starred Luke Perry and Jason Gedrick, and it was sudsy good melodrama. This new show doesn’t show much promise to me.
8:00 NCIS (9/24)
9:00 NCIS: LA (9/24)
10:00 Person of Interest (9/24) – new night
8:00 The Biggest Loser (9/8)
9:00 The Voice Results (9/24)
10:00 Chicago Fire (9/24)
8:00 Dads (9/17) I mentioned this a couple days ago and I watched the pilot. It’s bad. I’m usually willing to give sitcoms a second chance but not this time.
8:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (9/17) The pilot was good but not great, but sitcom pilots are rarely home runs. Still, I love the cast, especially how Andre Braugher is still very serious and stiff, even in a comedy.
9:00 New Girl (9/17)
9:30 The Mindy Project (9/17)
8:00 The Originals (10/3, which is a Thursday) This is a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries, hence the Thursday premiere immediately following TVD premiere.
9:00 Supernatural (10/8)
8:00 The Middle (9/25)
8:30 Back in the Game (9/25) A family comedy with baseball as the setting. Stars James Caan as a former baseball player who clashes with his daughter (Psych’s Maggie Lawson) and her non-athletic-Little-League-playing son.
9:00 Modern Family (9/25)
9:30 Super Fun Night (10/2) Two words: Rebel Wilson. Do you need to know anything more? I don’t. I’ll be watching.
10:00 Nashville (9/25) HOORAY!
8:00 Survivor (9/18)
9:00 Criminal Minds (9/25)
10:00 CSI (9/25)
8:00 Revolution (9/25) – new night
9:00 Law & Order: SVU (9/25)
10:00 Ironside (10/9) This is a re-boot of the popular ‘60s/’70s series about a wheelchair-bound cop, with Blair Underwood in the Raymond Burr title role. I love crime dramas, so I’m in.
8-10 The X Factor (9/11)
8:00 Arrow (10/9)
9:00 The Tomorrow People (10/9), about a teenager who discovers he has special powers and others like him.
Also of note: American Horror Story: Coven premieres on 10/9 at 10:00 on FX. More Jessica Lange and some other returning actors but ALSO Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates. This season’s storyline is about witches in New Orleans. Sign me up.
8:00 Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (10/10) Look, I’m a fan of Once Upon a Time, but I have concerns about a spin-off. Might be too much fairy-tale.
9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (9/26)
10:00 Scandal (10/3) Can. Not. Wait.
8:00 The Big Bang Theory (9/26)
8:30 The Millers (9/26) Again, cast is king: this stars Will Arnett, Margo Martindale and Beau Bridges. I’ll reserve judgment until I watch it.
9:00 The Crazy Ones (9/26), a David E. Kelley show about a father-daughter team of ad execs, played by Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar. I will watch and then decide.
9:30 Two and a Half Men (9/26)
10:00 Elementary (9/26)
8:00 Parks and Recreation (9/26)
8:30 Welcome to the Family (10/3) This is focused on the families of a pair of teen parents. Stars Mike O’Malley as one of the dads.
9:00 Sean Saves the World (10/3) Stars Sean Hayes as a single dad and also stars Linda Lavin and Smash’s Megan Hilty.
9:30 The Michael J. Fox Show (9/26 – with TWO episodes starting at 9:00 on that night) If Michael J. Fox is in it, I’m watching it, at least in the beginning.
10:00 Parenthood (9/26) – new night
8:00 The X Factor Results
9:00 Glee (9/26) If you watch Glee, you probably already know that they’re only showing three episodes, with the third being a tribute to Cory Monteith/Finn, and then taking a hiatus.
8:00 The Vampire Diaries (10/3)
9:00 Reign (10/17) This is a Mary, Queen of Scots show described by the executive producer as “Gossip Girl, Game of Thrones and Felicity in a blender.” Hmmmmm…
8:00 Last Man Standing (9/20)
8:30 The Neighbors (9/20)
9:00 Shark Tank (9/20)
8:00 Undercover Boss (9/27)
9:00 Hawaii Five-O (9/27) – new night
10:00 Blue Bloods (9/27)
8:00 Dateline NBC
9:00 Grimm (10/25)
10:00 Dracula (10/25) Jonathan Rhys Meyers stars as Dracula, pretending to be an American in London.
8:00 MasterChef Junior (9/27)
9:00 Sleepy Hollow “encore”
8:00 The Carrie Diaries (10/25)
9:00 America’s Next Top Model (premiered way back early in August)
Anything you're looking forward to watching?