Pain in the Ass Things About Breast Cancer, Pre-Op Edition

Besides the obvious, here are some seemingly insignificant things that piss me off about having breast cancer.

Number one with a bullet is the hormone issue. My cancer is estrogen-receptor-positive, so I had to stop taking hormones and I was thrust into menopause. It's hard to tell if any irritability I show these days is hormone-related or just due to being furious that I have cancer. But the worst part is the Asshole Hot Flashes (which shall henceforth be called AHF).

I've started carrying a hand fan with me. I have this pretty one that I got a few years ago in Japan (and by Japan I mean Epcot). I also have a leopard print one on order for variety.

I posted a few weeks ago about the Chillow and I really like it, but I ended up buying a different cooling pillow called the Gel'O Cool Mat. It's more expensive but it stays put better for me and doesn't get all smooshed up.

I'm the kind of person who loves to curl up on the couch under a blanket. I don't do that anymore (the blanket part, of course) because I get too damn hot. And that pisses me off.

I'd love to be able to think of them this way, but I'm not there.

Moving off of the AHF topic...


In the above picture you might notice that while my nails are "done," they're sans color. That's because the surgeons and hospital staff need to be able to see my nail beds. I rarely have no color on my nails so it's kind of driving me nuts.


I get regular massages, usually once a month, and I have no idea when I might be able to get them again. Fucking cancer.


I've been told that I won't be able to lift my arms over my head for a while, so it's been recommended to buy button-front tops. People, I have DD boobs (for now). I don't OWN button-front tops. And of course because of the AHF, I don't want sleeves. So I was forced to go shopping, and while I generally love me some retail therapy, I resent having to buy things that I wouldn't normally buy.

I found some at Old Navy. This is one of them.

I know I'm not alone in this, but I generally don't answer phone calls that come through as "Unknown" or whose number I don't recognize. Since being diagnosed I can't do that anymore. I'm forced to answer all the phone calls because it's probably a doctor's office or hospital or some kind of bullshit that if I don't answer it will be nearly impossible to get in touch with someone if I call back.


Our nephew Jeremy is graduating from high school this Friday. Because of my surgery, we can't go. Just another reason to hate cancer.

1998 - two of my favorite pictures of us with Jeremy (look, Aaron has hair!)

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Here's something that doesn't suck: the amazing support system that I have. From childhood friends to sorority sisters to friends from multiple choirs to neighbors and blog friends... I could go on and on. Thank you all! Last Tuesday I went to karaoke and most of the bar was filled with friends and neighbors. I had made a special request for a song to sing and Kevin came through. If you watch Nashville you've heard this song sung by Hayden Panettiere. Her character first sang it as a fuck you to her record label but I thought it was appropriate for me right now, too.





To use a phrase coined by my friend Dru, I'm in it to Gwen it.

Not sure when I'll be back on the blog, and I may not answer comments right away but know that I feel all the love and support and I thank you again.

Time keeps on slippin'.....

Here's how I know how fast time is flying: it's already season finale time on TV! What the what? And there have been some doozies. No spoilers here, but if you watch The Blacklist, Scandal, Chicago Fire or Revenge ... holy shitballs!

It's pretty remarkable that I've seen The Blacklist finale already, because it's one of the shows that Aaron and I watch together, which usually means we're weeks behind. But we did a little binge watching and got caught up on that one.

During that marathon, I noticed art imitating life (or the other way around). One of the episodes was about a criminal called the "Kingmaker," who helped politicians by killing off their opponents. Now, this episode was shot and aired way before Monday, but that also happened to be the day that Clay Aiken's opponent in the North Carolina congressional primary died suddenly. Hmmmmm, did Clay hire the Kingmaker?

Source

***Disclaimer: I am not accusing Aiken of anything! And if you go to his website, the only thing you'll find right now is a statement of sympathy and suspension of campaign activities for the time being.


In another "art imitates life" moment, on last week's Good Wife, Alicia defended a business mogul (Tom Skerritt) who couldn't stop putting his foot in his mouth, reminiscent of the recent shenanigans of one Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers. What a tool.

You all know I have a TV obsession, and so do a couple other bloggers I read. Jana at The Townhouse Pioneer recently wrote about multitasking while watching TV (I'm doing it right now) and Christina at Easily Entertained has posts this week about the network Upfronts, when next season's lineups are announced.

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This week in breast cancer, meet my new friend:

I officially apologize to anyone I may have made fun of for experiencing hot flashes. They seriously suck. (I've been thrust into menopause because I can't take hormones anymore due to my diagnosis.)

This past winter, during the polar vortex bullshit, I spent most of my time in front of this:

Why can't we make this happen?

And if anyone DOES make it happen, I expect royalties.


Another thing cancer fucked up: I could be in Australia right now. I had the opportunity to go to Melbourne with a friend but I ultimately decided that I didn't want to be so far away from home and Aaron for so long. It was the right decision and I don't regret it, but I'm pissed that I had to make it at all.


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Meanwhile, last night I rocked it out at karaoke. Besides my usual "Killing Me Softly," I also sang these:




(You kind of have to skip the first 90 seconds of "All That Jazz."

I'm the kind of girl who...

My fellow Columbus blogger Holly is hosting a link up today, and I thought it was time to throw out a few facts about me, especially for any newbies out there.

I’m the kind of girl who…

• loves my hair. After years of perms I finally discovered my natural curl. Now the color is a different story. Premature grey runs in my dad's family and as soon as I saw my first grey hairs (at age 23) I called my stylist.

• enjoys spicy food and prefers salty over sweet but if it's sweet, vanilla/caramel over chocolate.

• has a steel trap memory for a lot of weird things. I remember what our phone number was when I was little, even though I haven't had that phone number for 36 years. (It was 864-7637.)

• has no problem doing nothing, yet it's hard for me to totally relax my body. I'm hoping that won't be an issue this weekend when I'm in Jamaica!

My motto

• is a girly-girl when it comes to shopping, hair, jewelry, makeup and fashion (although I don't like pink) BUT I also like violent movies and sports, especially football.

• will stay quiet while I'm forming the words I want to say, but once I start talking, look out! I'll be honest and tell it like it is, while still being sympathetic and listening to YOU... unless of course you're being an idiot. ;)

• loves to read, watch TV and movies, and sing. If you're new around here, I sing karaoke on Tuesday nights and on Gwensdays (which I like so much more than "hump day" but I realize that Gwensday doesn't mean as much to people who aren't me) I often share a playlist of what I sang the night before. Time After Time and I Want You to Want Me were duets with my karaoke partner in crime, Kat. Quote of the night from Amy to me: "Killing Me Softly and a fake ID will be your ticket to American Idol." Hahaha! That would have to be one hell of a fake ID.

There's still time to enter my giveaway! You have until midnight tonight (Eastern Time).

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Ramblin' Woman

Commence brain dump.

• I don't think I'm changing the world, but I do enjoy this little corner of mine out there on the world wide web, and I so appreciate when people let me know that they enjoy it, too. Thanks, friends.

• Aaron has had a couple crazy busy work days, including getting his car stuck twice in the snow and helping a coworker get his car un-stuck. Last night I said I'd take care of dinner. The plan was to have pork tinga tacos. Aaron had taken the meat out of the freezer so all I had to do was warm it up and get the toppings and tortillas ready. I decided to do a Mexican rice side dish that we've had many times before, but I didn't check the rice supply in time. I ended up using half basmati and half brown basmati and, yes, I knew that they had two different cooking times but foolishly I thought if I just cooked it longer it would work out. We had to throw out the whole thing. This is why I stay out of the kitchen, people. At least the tacos were edible.

• It's tax time, as I'm sure you know. As a former tax accountant I have a nerdy pet peeve and I know that some of my friends do this but I even heard it on a radio commercial this morning and I may have yelled at the radio. Here it is: if you overpaid your taxes and you get money back it's called a tax refund. A tax return is the actual form you submit to the IRS to determine whether or not you get a refund. Thus ends my PSA of the day.

• Last night was karaoke night. Here's my playlist (minus songs that have been on previous playlists):

• My friend Liz posted this on Facebook today and it struck me. It's not an easy thing to remember but it's certainly true:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

• Tomorrow I'll have a special guest blogger and you won't want to miss it. Hint: she's white and black and very fluffy.

A Bunch of Thursday Randomness

Let's talk snow. Yes, it's winter. Yes, it snows in winter. But we rarely get THAT much snow at one time here in Columbus. The official snowfall for Tuesday night/Gwensday morning was 10.7 inches. We didn't have quite that much in the city but it was more than six inches for sure and on top of that we got freezing rain. Aaron shoveled for two hours before caving and borrowing a friend's snowblower.

Here's the thing, don't be a damn hero. If you don't have to go anywhere, stay home. Simple as that. I'm telling you, the roads are shitastic and while I'm missing my 4WD vehicle right about now, even that doesn't guarantee you won't go slip sliding away. And I get it, the schools have been closed a lot this winter and that's a bitch for parents who have to scramble to find childcare for the younger kids, but I think it's hilarious when parents who have no problem taking their kids out of school for a vacation complain that snow days are hindering their children's education.

No you did not. Shut up.

Do you watch The Biggest Loser? I don't, but I've seen a lot about the controversy surrounding the latest winner and "did she go too far?" I'll admit that she looks quite thin and apparently her BMI is slightly below "healthy," but I have two problems here. 1) I wonder if people would be as up in arms had it been a man in the same set of facts. 2) People, please. There is nothing healthy about the format of this show. I saw a tweet from someone who said she watched the finale with her teenage daughters and she was disgusted. Sorry, but why are you watching with your teenage daughters at all? This extreme weight loss is unrealistic and can be dangerous, whether or not the winner appears "emaciated."


I didn't manage to post yesterday but I do have Tuesday's karaoke playlist. We had a great time watching the snow and even Aaron sang.

In that picture he's singing Harry Connick, Jr.'s "Where or When." He also sang Van Halen's "Ice Cream Man" and Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice." Here's mine:




On "If I Had You," Aaron played air piano. Haha!

No video today

And no pictures either. Sad, I know. But there was singing last night, and here's the playlist.



Kat and I sang "The Sign" together. Oh, how I wish we had done the Pitch Perfect movements as well.

Worlds collided when I walked in the bar and saw one of our regular bartenders from Buffalo Wild Wings (I know, I preach against chains, but Aaron needs his weekly fix of B-Dubs so we know a lot of the servers there).

I just about fell off my bar stool when Aaron actually showed up, way past his normal bedtime. He put in "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" but then went home before his turn. So I sang it.

When I was a kid, we had the "Bridge Over Troubled Water" album (that's vinyl, my young friends). My brother and I would sing "Cecilia" over and over, not having a clue as to its meaning. Kat and I finished out the night with that one.

There was also a rendition of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" but I'm not including that in the playlist, because frankly, that's eight minutes that last night's patrons will never get back and I won't subject you to it.

Happy Gwensday!

I Can't Believe I'm Doing This

I've mentioned before that I've become a regular at the corner bar (Little Rock), particularly on Tuesdays when they have karaoke. My partner in crime Kat and I had decided on Sunday that we weren't going to go this week due to the way-below-zero wind chill that was on the way. Then last night she sent a text saying she'd changed her mind so off we went. There weren't a lot of people there, but it was a fun group.

Kat singing "Landslide"

This is Kevin, who runs karaoke. We love him.

When Kevin arrived, the only people there were Jessica the bartender and Greg, also a regular who happens to live even closer to the bar than I do. They weren't sure if anyone would show up so they created Karaoke Bingo. By the end of the night, we helped him get a Bingo.

...and a couple of these got circled after I took this picture...

Here's a sampling of some of what we sang. Kat and I sang together on "Baby It's Cold Outside" (hilarious), "Linger" and "Hold On." Kat sang "Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps," which has become her signature song. "I'm on a Boat" was sung by a girl we just met last night, and she was awesome. I did "Breathe" and "Feeling Good," among others.





Last week, Steph's friend Laura celebrated her birthday and also gave some life lessons on Steph's blog, one of which was "Costumes make everything better. So does dancing and Air Supply." So I said that I'd sing some Air Supply in Laura's honor. And I did. And I have video. You'll also catch a glimpse of Kevin. This is my first video upload so take pity on me for the quality because it took me way too long just to figure out how to even get it in this post.

Laura (and Steph), here's your long distance dedication:

The Best Gwensday of the Year

Happy Thanksgiving Eve a/k/a my favorite Gwensday! I'm sure you're all sick of me referencing my birthday, but too bad because I'm going to do it again. A couple years ago my birthday was on Thanksgiving Eve and I posted about it here, along with some stories of birthdays and Thanksgivings past. (Don't dump all the potato water! Or, if you're me, do it and just don't care.)

Last night I walked a block to Little Rock Bar for karaoke night. Kat couldn't go but I decided to go by myself, and while the place was busy, none of the usual Tuesday night regulars were there. But I hung out for a while and sang and met some new people. It helps that I go there often enough that the karaoke dude and the bartenders and the owner all know me.

This must have been there Saturday too, but I didn't see it until last night.

Here's a playlist of the songs I did last night. "Glitter in the Air" and "Killing Me Softly" are favorites of mine, but the other two I had never sung before. What the hell, I didn't know most of the people there anyway!




We had snow yesterday and I couldn't resist taking this picture of our poor grasses in front of the house on my way home:

Aaron was fast asleep when I got home and the cats were pretty settled in, although I didn't see Bella at first. But then I found her snuggled in a pile of laundry:

She really got herself in there! 

And maybe she's not as airheaded as we thought - this morning Aaron realized that our heat wasn't on and it was only 58 degrees in the house!

And so as I write this, I'm in front of the fire and here's my view outside:

In case you can't tell, it's snowing. Sideways.

I hope everyone celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow has a wonderful holiday. Safe travels to all! We're hosting and the house already smells so good (no thanks to me - Aaron does almost all of the cooking).