Thursday, May 30, 2013

Letting Go

Day 30's challenge is React to this term: Letting Go.

I think that first of all, knowing when to let go is difficult enough and then when you've realized it's time to let go, you actually have to do it, which is even harder. And I think that's true whether you're letting go of a relationship or a grudge or just a pair shoes (but let's be honest, there's no such thing as "just" a pair of shoes). Then of course, there's the big "letting go."

When my dad was near the end of his life we kept telling him it was OK to go. He had seen his kids and grandchildren and everyone important to him who was able to come. And he really was ready but he kept hanging on. The last day the hospice nurse came and he asked her "am I going to die today?" She said "I can't answer that but your family is enjoying having you here." My mom and I, in another room, just looked at each other like "um, I'm not enjoying this, are you?" Later it was just us and my dad said "I think it's happening" and Mom took one hand and I took the other and he closed his eyes.

Then he opened them again and said "I feel like I'm still here." We laughed so hard! It was the middle of that night, while we were sleeping, that he finally let go.

I know that I'm guilty of hanging on too long to objects or hard feelings or comfort zones. I hope that I gain clarity in knowing when I need to let go, and courage to make it happen.

PS - Just to end on a lighter note, it seems that my dad had a hard time letting go of other things as well. Like socks. After he died, my mom found three good-sized drawers FULL of socks - many of them never worn. My brother and Aaron went shopping in the sock drawers!


  1. Hey Gwen, it is really hard letting go. Sometimes you just have to let go because you have been so strong for so long and you just break.

    A family member is struggling with alcohol and it is hard to see them alienate themselves from our family. We have tried and tried and tried and now most of our family is just "letting go" because there is nothing we can do anymore.

    You can't have a relationship with someone if they don't want to have it with you. We are now putting it into action which is not easy at all. And this person has since noticed that nobody is communicating with her and she doesn't know why.

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is "let go" so that the person can truly take you seriously.

    Followign you on facebook now :)

    Lovely post. These are teh posts I like reading and commenting on: real life musings.


  2. The big letting go is definitely the hardest. It's so important to tell people it's okay to go, and so hard to watch them hang on.

  3. Both you and Steph are on a roll today with these beautiful posts.

    I find I don't know how to let go purely for selfish reasons. In the weeks leading to my Mom-Mom's dying, I just couldn't deal. I was angry. I had a conversation with her in the hospital. She was ready, and I realized that I had to be ready, too.mShe passed the next week, and knowing that she was ready made it just a little bit easier.

  4. Oh, the letting go.

    It's a constant thing, letting go. There will always be people or jobs or memories or circumstances that pop up in our lives that, for whatever reason, at some point become unnecessary or just not good for us.

    It's a good reminder to me that everyone struggles with letting go. I hate that we all struggle, but hey, at least we're all in it together. :)

  5. Interesting that you wrote this one today as I was thinking of where he would be right now.

  6. Yep, he'd probably be perched at the #8 tee at the Memorial.

  7. "I feel like I'm still here." That is a great line. Always good to have laughter associated with letting go...

  8. You are such a great writer, friend. You always put things so well :) I love that you were able to laugh and you have that small funny story with your dad before he left this world. He sounds like a great man.


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