Monday, February 25, 2013

The Oscars: My 3 1/2 hour run-on sentence

Kidding! If you know me you know that it would drive me crazy to do that. But I did blog while watching. Some of this might not make sense but I just went with it.


"And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now".... and it worked! I'm not sure I've ever heard Seth MacFarlane's real voice.

"Why couldn't they just get Tina and Amy to host?" Well, I think they should host someday but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Oo, I'm liking this dance with Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron, but spats? Really? (I know they're part of the costume but still.)

Joseph Gordon Levitt, you're not classically attractive but I really enjoy you.

"I've got a bottle of wine and some Boniva" - Sally Field, good for you!

Octavia Spencer looks lovely! I think supporting actor is the toughest call. I need to watch The Master because Phillip Seymour Hoffman is so good in everything. Yay, Christoph! Yay, Django! Quentin Tarantino, tighten your tie, dude. Good speech and not too long.

I love you, Melissa McCarthy but I'm not liking that hair or the color of your dress. Bummer. And this exchange with Paul Rudd isn't going that well. Every year Aaron and I say we want to see the animated and live action short films, and there's a theater in Columbus that shows them, but clearly we haven't gotten there. Yay, Brave! (That's the only one of the animated films that I saw, and I love me a heroine with curly red hair.) Love the kilt.

Reese Witherspoon looks gorgy, and bitch just had a baby. Someone got the wrong camera cue when they showed the cast of Silver Linings Playbook as she talked about Beasts of the Southern Wild.

I didn't see The Avengers but very fun to see all these guys. And who else but Samuel L. Jackson could pull off the velvet smoking jacket (but pick one, velvet jacket or silk shirt, not both). This cinematography dude has some serious hair and I love that he was all overwhelmed by winning. Clearly Life of Pi will win all the technical awards. Again, didn't see it but I'm sure that it was a boring visually spectacular film. Aaaaand, our first play off ... with the Jaws theme!

Jennifer Aniston, I love you and I love your dress. And I'm glad Channing lost the spats. I didn't see Anna Karenina but I figured it would win for costumes. Now, don't talk too long. She seems like she knows what she's doing and she's already done. Good job. Yay, Les Mis√©rables for makeup and hair! OMG, that woman is wearing hot pink tights. And see? Two women still manage to give their speeches quickly.

I'd totally do Halle Berry. She's too beautiful. We really need to see Skyfall. Oo, Shirley Bassey! Appropriately wearing gold and looking and sounding good!

Kerry Washington looks stunning as always. I'm ready for some more acting awards please.

Every time I see Liam Neeson I'm sad about Natasha Richardson. I'm liking that they're showing three nominated films together.

"150 years and it's still too soon?" Apparently so.

Apparently we need to see Searching for Sugar Man.

And in one of the least surprising moments of the night, until DDL wins for lead actor, Amour wins foreign language film.

The orchestra isn't even in the building? What a rip off.

Salute to movie musicals!!! And this confirms that there's something wrong with the sound because the remote orchestra often drowns out CZJ. But here comes JHud. If they drown HER out, there's really something wrong. Yep. The balance is off. But damn, girlfriend, you rock the house! Standing O! Ah, Amanda Seyfried and Eddie Redmayne and their battling vibratos. Samantha Barks looks stunning, and she was a great Eponine.

OK, blah blah blah creative and technical awards.

Marky Mark and Ted. I guess we knew that was coming. A tie? Wow! Did this guy get lipstick on his face? Oh well, I'm sure he doesn't care. A win for Skyfall!

Sound of Music jokes! Christopher Plummer can only mean one thing: Anne Hathaway is about to get onstage. I love Jacki Weaver's earrings. And here comes Anne. It might be good that Amy Adams didn't win because I don't know how she's get that dress up the stairs (although I love the dress).

Not sure how I feel about Sandy Bullock's dress but I love her anyway.

I love the fullness of JLaw's dress. She looks like a princess, but nervous. Adele, thank you for sticking to black as opposed to the grandma's wallpaper dress you wore to the Grammys. Love the shoes, the hair, the makeup. But again, the damn orchestra is too loud.

Yay, Nicole Kidman isn't wearing something that matches her skin tone.

I just cannot like Kristen Stewart, going all the way back to when she played Jodie Foster's son daughter in Panic Room.

Interesting dress choice, Salma Hayek. I kind of like it.

Clooney does the In Memoriam intro. The past couple years, they've had someone sing live behind this but not this year, which I guess is good since we wouldn't be able to hear the singer anyway. Aw, Jack Klugman. Quincy was one of my faves. Oh wait, OMG it's BARBRA STREISAND with a Marvin Hamlisch tribute! And remarkably, the music isn't overwhelming her. I mean, they wouldn't dare, right?

It's the Chicago cast. Gold is definitely the color of the night. Renee Zellweger is almost unrecognizable. I want John Williams to win for Lincoln; his scores are just so "Americana" to me. But no, it goes to Life of Pi. I'm starting to get worried that Best Picture may go to a movie I didn't see.

Time for Best Original Song. WTF is Chasing Ice? And that's ScarJo singing it? She's not bad. Ooo, Norah Jones! I don't go to a ton of concerts but I've seen her twice. And AGAIN I can't HEAR her!

Where did Charlize's hair go? Regardless, she's freakin' gorgeous. Dustin Hoffman looks like he's her version of Quvenzhan√©'s puppy purse. And speaking of little Q, how cute was she? Anyway, we're doing screenplays. Adapted goes to Argo! Now original... oh, I'd like Django to win but I also really liked Moonrise Kingdom and would like it to get some love. OK, it's Django - cool. Some people might think that his tie is wonky because it's so late in the show, but no, it was like that at the BEGINNING.

Jane Fonda - cool canary yellow dress; Michael Douglas looking old. Best Director: NOT Spielberg. It's Ang Lee. Now I am concerned.

"Will it be Emmanuelle Riva, who was 9 when this show started?" Note to hosts: if you don't tell half of your length of the show jokes, the show won't be as long.

For Best Actress - I wish I had seen The Impossible (and I will) because I think Naomi Watts might really be deserving of this. But I am a big JLaw fan so I'm cool with it. Oops, she fell! She didn't just trip, she fell. She plays it off well, but I hope her dress doesn't come down any more. [Note: in her post-win interview with GMA, Jack Nicholson came over to say hi to her and she acted totally cool, but when he left she freaked out. I heart her.]

There's Meryl Streep in this year's frumpy gown of choice.  Just because you bedazzle it doesn't make it Oscar worthy.  Please tell me she opened the envelope. I mean, we all know DDL is going to win but still. He's got lipstick on his cheek, which has become the accessory of the evening. OK, hilarious joke about playing Margaret Thatcher. Have they ever worked together? They should.

Jack Nicholson to present Best Picture. Cool. OMG, Michelle! How freakin' great. And it's ARGO! Yay! OK, I love Ben. He's so nervous and flustered and excited, but then he calms down. Great speech.

Um, this "goodbye" with Kristen Chenoweth is unnecessary.

Bottom line. For me, while a good host can make the show better, a not-as-good host doesn't detract from the show. Hell, even when James Franco blankly stared his way through a couple years ago, I still enjoyed the show. MacFarlane had some good moments, and who knew he could sing and dance? He also had some not great moments and I'll just leave it at that. I really loved that they did so much with music but obviously I had an issue with the balance of orchestra vs. singer. Still, JHud, Babs, Shirley Bassey? Wow. Way cool.

And with that, I'm off to bed.

The Gila


  1. I guess I was the only person who knew Seth M could sing? LOL, we watch Family Guy religiously, and there are songs on that show all the time. I tought Sally Field was a huge sourpuss all night long, so I was glad she did the funny bit with Seth.

    1. Yes, I've seen Family Guy a lot, too. But as "himself," he actually has a good singing voice and I was pleasantly surprised by that.

  2. Gwen I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said - especially your wrap-up. I just told Al the exact same thing - I will always enjoy watching the Oscars, whether the host sucks or not. And in my opinion, Seth didn't suck as much as the blogosphere seems to think he did today. And damn, yeah, he can sing! I love the way you write, girl, thank you for the posts! I can't figure out how to post this without it being anonymous so it's me, Hillary!

  3. Thanks for this, I really didn't get to watch!


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