Thursday, October 17, 2013

Just Stop

Dear Congress,

Welcome to Asshole Island. This is a magical place where we send all the assholes so they will never bother us again. Your stay here will be open-ended and hopefully miserable, since we've sent all the mosquitoes here as well. Enjoy.

The government shutdown is over. For now. Don't be surprised when we're feeling a sense of déjà vu in a few months. The assholes in Congress have been compared to toddlers more than once and here's another similarity: now that they've made a big ole mess of things, they're taking a break. Poor babies dragged out all their toys but other people have to clean them up. AND ... of course this eleventh hour deal couldn't be straightforward; there were some random provisions in there about an Ohio River dam project, a post-flood rebuilding project in Colorado and a death benefit payment to a Senator's widow. Look, I'm not saying those things individually aren't important, but what the hell do they have to do with ending the shutdown? Just stop.

I keep hearing that the cost of the shutdown is $24 billion dollars. We'll never know the REAL cost of the shutdown because trust me, there will be ripple effects, and there are numerous intangibles of how this mess screwed up people's lives. I think the debt ceiling probably needs raised even more just to be able to pay for a giant temper tantrum. Just stop.

I wish all of Congress would get voted out, but the problem is that the people who might actually do some good are all too smart and/or scared to put themselves through a campaign. Campaigns suck. Why can't you just tell me where you stand on the issues and what you hope to do if elected (don't bullshit me by telling me what you WILL do, because it's not all up to you). Just stop.

I really wish Asshole Island were a real place. Let's get to work on that, shall we?

Oh, and welcome to the Senate, Cory Booker. Have fun with that.

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