Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Mixed Feelings

Last weekend was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure here in Columbus. Apparently it's the second largest in the country. On one hand, I applaud any organization whose purpose is to eradicate cancer from the earth. On the other hand, I was among the pissed off people when Komen announced their defunding of Planned Parenthood a couple years ago, and I'm not a fan of pinkwashing.

But now I'm a cancer patient.

Aaron's sister Cynthia works for Bath & Body Works, part of what used to be called Limited Brands (now called L Brands) and she signed up Aaron, our niece Lauren, and Lauren's friend Molly to run the 5k. She also signed up herself and me, but we knew we were just spectating. With mimosas.

Before the race. Aaron, Molly, Lauren. It was cold.

We missed getting a picture of the girls during the run, but
caught Aaron blowing kisses. Awwwwww!

Cynthia, Lauren, Me, Molly

So as you can see, my shirt was pink and says "Survivor." I feel a little weird about that. I haven't actually survived anything yet. I certainly don't feel like I belong in the same category with most of the other women I saw sporting Survivor shirts.

My surgery date is Tuesday, June 3. That's now less than two weeks away. Eep. Ultimately I'm glad it's sooner rather than later, but it is coming quickly and my calendar is filling up with doctor's appointments, CT scans, bloodwork, not to mention work and personal things I want to take care of. Yesterday I received a voicemail message from a patient navigator asking if I had any questions. Sometimes I feel like I have no questions, maybe because I don't really want the answers, and other days I have a million questions.

I'm full of mixed feelings these days.


  1. ou should wear that shirt with pride. Everyone has a different fight. I will be thinking of you in the next couple weeks!

  2. Survivor is anyone with cancer who is alive - no matter where you are in treatment or the stage of cancer you have/had. You wear that T-shirt girlfriend. But I can see where you're coming from. I'd feel the same I think.

  3. Youre most definitely a survivor..just because your battle isnt as bad as someone elses doesnt make it any less of a battle xoxox

  4. You're a survivor from day 1. You just become a much cooler and wiser survivor as that number goes up! ;) Seriously - I still feel strange considering myself a survivor and it's been 9 years and nearly 150 chemo infusions. It feels less like the battle that people always seem to call it and more like an endurance event. You'll endure with style babe - like you do everything. You have lots of us in your corner!

  5. I get where you are coming from but you are a survivor. Every day you keep fighting and keep your spirits up (and even the days you're miserable), you're surviving. Wear that shirt with pride!

  6. You rock that shirt, lady! Stay strong, I'll be thinking of you in these next few weeks. Also- love that pic of Aaron blowing you kisses- what a sweetheart :)


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